


you can swear at me all you want

by nanajinnie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Rated T for language lol, also no beta we die like women, felix and hyunjin are jisung's supportive besties, he's also in love w minho what else is new, jisung is a shy cutie, minho is bisexual btw, minho is dense as FUCK, semi Angst with a Happy Ending, this is short af bc i am Lazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26728993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanajinnie/pseuds/nanajinnie
Summary: “Guys, I think… I think I’m going to ask her out,” he said nervously.Hyunjin and Felix sent instant glances towards Jisung, who only allowed himself a second of heartbreak before engulfing his best friend in a hug and ruffling his hair.“Do it! Heavens know you deserve happiness. I’m sure she’s smitten for you as well,” Jisung smiled as Minho jokingly pushed him away, mumbling a "shut up dumbass". He didn’t miss Hyunjin looking at him sympathetically. He only raised his shoulders slightly, because really, what could he do? He knew him and Minho would never have a chance. He had to settle for less if he wanted Minho in his life. He had to.Or; the one where Jisung has been madly in love with Minho for forever, and Minho dense and doesn't realise his own feelings.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 5
Kudos: 245





	you can swear at me all you want

**Author's Note:**

> heya,
> 
> been mia for a couple of years lol, anyway i got into stray kids and now my life revolves around them

Jisung was eight when they first met on the playground. His mom forced him to play outside and make friends, but he was shy - he wasn’t brave enough to play with any of the loud kids. The others didn’t like him, which didn’t help, either. He was smaller, he looked funny with his chubby cheeks, he was more quiet. Eight-year-old Jisung didn’t know it would take one push from one of the older guys for his life to change drastically. 

“Hey! That was mean,” a boy yells and rushes to Jisung. The boy who had pushed him just pokes out his tongue and leaves. “Are you okay?”

Jisung looks at his savior with wide eyes. “My bum hurts, but it’s okay!” 

That earns him a smile. “It’ll feel better soon. I’m Minho!” the boy says, offering Jisung a hand to shake. 

“I’m Jisung,” he says quietly. 

“Wanna finish building the castle with me?”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jisung was twelve when he finally believed Minho wouldn’t leave his side to be friends with the cool kids. He knew all their classmates liked Minho, and Minho was sociable. Jisung was the quiet kid who still looked like a squirrel and who people liked to poke fun of, but Minho was always there to stand up for him. 

They sat together in class and walked home together. He would poke at Jisung’s cheeks when he cried about looking ugly. 

“But you look so cute Sungie!” said Minho, poking at his chubby cheeks until he started giggling. “I like your cheeks. They’re stupid.”

On that day, Jisung decided he also liked his cheeks. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jisung was sixteen when he realised he didn’t like girls the way he was supposed to. His classmates would go on dates, flirt loudly and openly in the crowded hallways, but Jisung wouldn’t. 

He sighed, slamming his locker shut and walking outside to wait for Minho. He was a year above him, so they didn’t see each other all that much during school hours. He hated school, because he had to spend hours on end all alone. Minho had insisted he should try and make friends, but he’d refused every time. He didn’t need anybody else. He has Minho. 

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice someone speeding past him, causing them to collide. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Jisung immediately apologised, bowing. 

The dark-haired boy laughed. “Hey, that’s okay. Oh, wait, you’re in my music class, right?” 

“Um,” Jisung mumbled, “am I?” He looked at the boy for a moment more before it clicked for him. “Oh, right! You’re Hyunjin...right?”

“Yeah! You’re always so quiet, I’m afraid I don’t know your name,” Hyunjin laughed, adjusting his backpack. 

“Oh, yeah, I guess that’s me,” Jisung laughed awkwardly. “I’m Jisung.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes widened in recognition. “Oh, Minho’s Jisung?” 

Jisung blushed at that. “You know Minho?” 

“We have dance club together.”

“Oh,” Jisung said, feeling awkward. “Um, yeah, Minho’s my best friend.”

Hyunjin smiled at him, and he was so kind and talkative, making Jisung feel at ease. Minho would be so proud of him, he was actually making conversation. “Too bad we hadn’t met yet! He talks about you sometimes.”

“Oh?” Jisung asked, surprised. 

“Don’t worry, only good things. Well, it was nice meeting you, hopefully we’ll see each other soon!”

Then, Hyunjin was waving at him, all smiles as he rushed away. Jisung could only wave in silence. 

When he got outside, Minho was already waiting for him. Which was a first, because it was always Minho that stalled a bit longer, talking to his classmates. He raised an eyebrow at Jisung, who skipped towards him. 

“You’re late for once?” 

“Min!” he tackled the older in a hug. “You’ll never ever guess what just happened.” 

“Woah, hey there, squirrel. Aren’t you full of joy,” he mused, pinching Jisung’s cheek as they started walking to the bus stop. 

“Aren’t I always?” Jisung pouted, crossing his arms over his chest in fake offence. 

“Well, what happened then?” 

“I,” Jisung started, pausing for dramatic effect, “made a friend!” 

Minho smiled so wide it made Jisung’s heart skip a beat. “Really? I’m happy for you, Jisung.”

Jisung excitedly talked about how they met. “And turns out, it’s Hyunjin from your dance club! He was really friendly, even though I probably made a really awkward and weird first impression…”

Minho let out a sound of disagreement. “Nonsense, dumbass. You’re very likeable, besides, he’s already heard about you. I’m sure you guys will be great friends.”

Jisung grinned. “I hope so. It’ll be so fun to have a friend when you’re in your other classes.”

“I best not be replaced now,” Minho fake-scowled at him. Jisung only shot him a soft smile. 

“You could never.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Jisung was seventeen when he made peace with the fact that he was in love with Minho. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but it was painfully obvious. 

“I’m in love with Minho,” he blurted once while hanging out with Hyunjin and Felix. In only a year, him and Hyunjin had become inseparable, and Hyunjin had also introduced him to Felix. Jisung treasured them. 

Hyunjin only smiled, looking at him sympathetically. “I know.”

Jisung looked up at them, alarmed. “You what?”

“It’s not like it’s painfully obvious to everyone, don’t worry,” Felix was quick to calm his fears. “And definitely not to Minho. He’s...kind of oblivious.”

Jisung sighed with relief. “Thank god. This- this would tear us apart. I can’t have him finding out, but I had to tell someone, it was eating me alive.”

“It’s okay. We’re just,” Hyunjin started, looking at Felix for a moment, “we see the way you look at him. He’s really precious to you.”

“Yeah,” Jisung mumbled. “Well, I mean, there’s that. I know you guys are my best friends and you wouldn’t do it, but I won’t get peace of mind until I say it anyway, so - you have to swear you won’t tell him. I haven’t- he doesn’t even know I’m gay.”

Felix looked at him, surprised. “Really?”

“You know he wouldn’t think of you any differently,” Hyunjin said softly, patting his head. 

“I know, I know, it’s just… he’s so important to me. I’m scared that something will come between us. I’m content with how we are now. Best friends. I don’t want that to change.”

Hyunjin gave Felix a knowing look, it was only for a second, but Jisung caught it. He decided not to comment. “It won’t. Trust me, he’ll always support you just the way you are.”

  
  
  


The next week, Jisung sat nervously next to Minho in his bed as they watched a movie. He had decided to tell him today, but it’d been hours and he couldn’t get the words out. 

Suddenly, Minho paused the movie. “What’s bothering you?”

Jisung looked up at him in surprise. “Um, nothing?” It sounded like a question.

“You haven’t been paying attention to the movie, like, at all,” Minho said, giving him a knowing look. Jisung must’ve looked scared shitless, because his eyes softened and he gently pulled on Jisung’s cheek. “Hey, come on, squirrel, what’s up?”

Jisung took a deep breath, knowing it was his cue. “Promise me you’ll still be my best friend. You can’t leave me.”

Minho frowned. “Sung, I would never leave you. What is this about?”

The words suddenly expanded in his chest so aggressively, he was physically unable to stop them from leaving his mouth. “I’m gay.”

Minho looked at him, expressionless. “That’s what’s been worrying you all night?” 

Jisung wanted to cry. “Yes?” he whispered, voice quivering. 

“Ah, Sungie,” Minho mumbled, pulling the smaller into his embrace. “You’ll always be my little squirrel, you know that right? This changes nothing.” 

Minho’s words ripped the sobs right out of Jisung. It was all he needed to hear, all he _wanted_ to hear. He held Jisung tighter, petting his hair until his sobs died down. 

“I’m bisexual,” Minho said suddenly, making Jisung push away from the embrace.

“W- what?” he asked, confused. Minho was bi? 

He laughed. “I’m bi. I guess I never told you either, so… we’re both out of the closet now.”

“Minho!” Jisung scolded him jokingly, punching his side. “You had me worried for nothing.” 

Minho only laughed, and he looked so painfully beautiful it took everything in Jisung to not kiss his best friend. He settled for cuddles instead, and told himself this would be enough. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Jisung was seventeen when we watched from the sidelines as Minho had his first love and heartbreak. The girl was absolutely lovely, and Jisung _hated_ that - hated the fact that he had absolutely no reason to feel bitter about her. She’d treated Minho well, and Minho had been happy. Which is, essentially, all that really mattered to Jisung. 

Minho had been over for a gaming night with Hyunjin, Felix and Chan when he told them. 

“Guys, I think… I think I’m going to ask her out,” he said nervously. 

Hyunjin and Felix sent instant glances towards Jisung, who only allowed himself a second of heartbreak before engulfing his best friend in a hug and ruffling his hair. 

“Do it! Heavens know you deserve happiness. I’m sure she’s smitten for you as well,” Jisung smiled as Minho jokingly pushed him away, mumbling a _shut up dumbass_ . He didn’t miss Hyunjin looking at him sympathetically. He only raised his shoulders slightly, because really, what could he do? He knew him and Minho would never have a chance. He had to settle for less if he wanted Minho in his life. He _had_ to. 

  
  
  
  
  


Jisung was fixing himself some tea when someone entered his house unannounced. He wasn’t even surprised anymore, used to Minho’s antics. 

“She said yes!” he sing-songed, sliding next to Jisung with the biggest grin. Oh, how Jisung’s heart longed to be the reason for that smile. He hid his hurt by smiling back. 

“Told you so, mister charming.” Jisung bumped their shoulders together. “Minho got the girl! Come on, we should celebrate,” Jisung skipped to his phone, playing their favorite song. Minho laughed, but went along, the both of them jumping around and looking like a duo of crazy kids. Eventually, they grew tired, and Minho pulled Jisung into a hug. 

“I’m happy, Sung,” he said, and Jisung squeezed his eyes shut. It had to be enough for him. He pulled back, smiling as he fixed Minho’s hair. 

“And I’m happy for you.”

  
  
  
  
  


Lunch break at school had earned them a new addition. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but it was a constant reminder that Jisung would always be the best friend. It _had_ to be enough. Hyunjin and Felix tried their best to distract him and he appreciated that. 

“Open up, Sungie,” Minho said, feeding him the radish from his salad. He’d never liked it, and always gave it to Jisung. He accepted it and Minho smiled at him warmly, ruffling his hair before turning back to eating. Jisung forced his heart to take it platonically, because it was. Minho had a girlfriend. Minho would be taken now, he would be taken in the future, he’d always have someone that wasn’t Jisung. 

Jisung shook the thoughts out of his head.

Later, when he and Hyunjin we’re studying in the library, he brought up their lunch break. 

“You know, she really tries to hide it, but she kind of wants to bite your head off whenever Minho is affectionate with you,” Hyunjin casually commented, not looking up from his textbook. 

Jisung let out a surprised voice. “She does?”

“Yeah. I can tell it bothers her.”

“Um,” Jisung mumbled. “Should I tell Minho to stop? I don’t- I’m not doing it on purpose, no matter how much I’d want to, honestly,” he confesses. 

Hyunjin looked up with a sad sigh. “You shouldn’t, if you’re honestly not actively seeking it. It’s… it’s your and Minho’s dynamic. And you’re already sacrificing so much for the sake of him, I don’t think you should try to change your friendship.”

“I’d lie if I said I didn’t feel anything when he’s affectionate with me,” he said, guilty. “I can’t really help it, you know? I’m- I love him. But I’d never try to break them apart from each other. Not until I still want to be friends with him.”

Hyunjin grabbed his hand, squeezing it. “I know it’s hard for you. I wish it was different.”

“Me too,” he said quietly before turning back to his homework. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was months later when Minho called him late into the night.

“ _Sung?_ ” 

Jisung knew he’d been crying. “Everything okay, Min?” 

“ _No. I don’t know_ ,” he sighed. “ _She broke up with me._ ”

Jisung sat up from his bed, confused. He hated that a small part of him was happy, he cursed himself for it. “She what now?”

He heard Minho shuffle around in his bed. “ _Yeah. Said something about her clearly not being the one for me. Whatever the fuck that even means. She was being so vague._ ” 

“I’m sorry, Min,” Jisung helplessly mumbled. _Are you really?_ a part of him asked. He was sorry that Minho was hurting. He… he hated that he wasn’t that sorry about their relationship ending. It was supposed to be enough, damn it. 

“ _Can you come over?_ ” Minho asked with a small voice. 

So Jisung did. He cuddled an upset Minho close to him under the blanket, petting his head and telling him it would be okay. It was his duty as Minho’s best friend, and it had to be enough. He pushed his heart’s desires far away and cuddled Minho until they both fell asleep. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Jisung was eighteen when he realised it wouldn’t be enough. He couldn’t be the best friend forever, because every day was harder and harder for him to keep away, he felt like he hadn’t _breathed_ in years. Crying on Hyunjin’s and Felix’s shoulders wasn’t enough anymore. Being Minho’s best friend wasn’t enough anymore. He couldn’t deal with the fact that _he_ wouldn’t be enough for Minho. 

He was at Felix’s place for another vent session, but this time, it didn’t relieve him in the slightest. If anything, it only made the bubble, the nasty ugly green bubble called _I have a secret and it’s being in love with my best friend_ only expand. It wanted to explode, it wanted to spill onto Minho so that Jisung could finally breathe. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” Jisung blurted, standing up. Felix raised his eyebrow. “Will you drive me to Minho’s?”

Of course Felix drove him. Jisung was shaking in the passenger seat and Felix took his hand. 

“It’s okay, Jisung. You also have your limit. Hell, you’re in love. It was expected that you couldn’t hold it in you forever. I’ll be here waiting, okay?” 

Jisung didn’t bother to knock, walking in and rushing upstairs to Minho’s room. The latter looked surprised as he turned around in his chair and was about to speak, but Jisung’s ugly bubble burst.

“I can’t do this anymore!” he exclaimed, earning himself a wide-eyed look from his best friend. “I can’t! And- and I told myself it would be enough, that it had to be enough, but it isn’t! It never will!” 

“What-”

“You can swear at me, go ahead, swear all you want. But I can’t change my heart, and my heart is crazy after you. Fuck, Min, it’s _so_ crazy after you. It’s always been, and I thought after a while it wouldn’t, but I was wrong. And- and I love you. I’m in love with you. Fuck,” he grabbed his hair in desperation. All Minho did was stare at him. “I’m so in love with you, and I don’t have the willpower to hide it from you anymore. I keep walking on eggshells around you, I feel like I can’t _breathe_ around you because I’m keeping this secret.”

Minho looked… like a lot was happening in his head. “Jisung…”

“I- I know you don’t feel the same. I know I’ve always been the best friend,” he says, looking up in order to try and stop his tears. “I really thought it’d be enough. But I’m sorry that it isn’t. I- I’m sorry. You were never just my best friend. You’re…”

Minho’s face looked too much like rejection for him to continue. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled before turning around and rushing to Felix’s car. He sobbed the whole way home, Felix accompanying him to his room and holding him close as he cried. It was years worth of tears. Somewhere along the way Hyunjin joined them, kissing and petting Jisung’s head, and the trio stayed together until the early morning. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Minho and Jisung didn’t talk for a week. Jisung was too scared to face his best friend, so he ignored the problem at hand entirely - that meant systemically avoiding Minho. He knew his schedule well enough to know where they could possibly cross paths. 

Until one day, Minho was standing outside of his classroom, arms crossed over his chest. Jisung was rooted on the spot, until Hyunjin’s gentle hands pushed him towards his best friend.

“Go,” he said. “He’s been dying to talk to you. Trust me, go.”

He trusted Hyunjin, so he went. He took cautious steps towards Minho, who looked at him in a way that told Jisung absolutely nothing about how he was feeling. He then proceeded to grab Jisung’s wrist and pull him towards the exit. Jisung kept quiet the entire way, and realised Minho was leading them towards the small park next to their school. Minho’s grip on him gradually tightened. 

“Min, ow,” he mumbled, and only then did he let go, stopping them. Minho turned to face him with an unreadable expression, almost angry, as Jisung rubbed his wrist. 

“You’ve been in love with me?” he asked, and he sounded upset. “This entire time?”

“I’m sorry,” Jisung sighs. 

“You- fuck, Jisung,” Minho breathes out, grasping his hair. “You’re…”

“What?” he asks, when Minho doesn’t continue. 

“You never told me, how was I supposed to realise I love you too?” 

Jisung’s jaw drops open. “What?” he whispers, voice shaking. “Don’t fuck with me, Min.”

Minho steps cautiously closer to him. “It’s why my relationship with her didn’t work out. I didn’t realise back then, but you were the only one for me. The only one I wanted to care for like that. And I _did_ care for you, I just didn’t… I didn’t realise I was in love with you. That I _am_ in love with you.” 

Jisung’s heart was doing unhealthy things. “You mean it?” 

“Sungie,” Minho whispers, cupping his face gently. “My Sungie. You’ve always been the one.” 

“If you don’t kiss me right now, I will combust,” Jisung pleaded through his tears, and Minho complied, kissing him gently. _God_ , how much Jisung had daydreamed about kissing him. Minho’s lips were soft, and the way he held Jisung made him feel safe. Happy. Warm. 

“I love you, Sungie. I’m sorry it took so long for me to come around,” he whispered, gentle touches over his cheeks, his lips, eyes, jaw. Jisung closed his eyes, basking in the moment. 

“I love you, too.” 

They kissed again, and only when Minho had pulled him in a tight embrace, did someone make their presence known behind them with a cough. Jisung turned around to see Hyunjin and Felix with wide smiles. He squealed and rushed to hug them both.

“Wait,” he said, pulling away from them. “Were you in on this?” 

Felix looked smug. “Do you think that dumbass would have realised his feelings otherwise? He’s as dense as they come,” he laughed, and a blushing Minho put his arm around Jisung, pulling him close to his side. 

“Everyone could tell he was in love with you. Except for himself, of course,” Hyunjin shot a light-hearted glare towards Minho.

“Yeah, I get it, I get it - I’m an idiot. Can we go get food now?”

The four of them made their way towards the cafe nearby school, and Minho held his hand the entire way, kissing him from time to time. He was glowing in the sunlight, gazing at Jisung as their friends were goofing around. 

  
And Jisung thought to himself that yes, _this_ would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> anyone up for a hyunjin/felix spin-off? during writing i liked to imagine those two having a thing for each other lol
> 
> if u saw any typos then no u didnt <3


End file.
